Well, today, despite what seemed like something to get my hopes up for, I found out that I would not be getting sheep in town after all.
After two years of trying to figure out a working solution, Kathy retiring, and just not having the money, energy, and interest in driving hours and hours away to just put mileage on my dog, I think it’s time to give up the ghost.
It’s been a good, long run. Adelaida ranch is still on the table, but unless they somehow get tamer sheep for beginner dogs, it’s not going to do anything but teach my dog bad manners, and even then, that’s two hours out and back to get there just to condition them. There are other stockdog trainers in the area, but Kathy has recommended me not go there. It seems like I can only use her or not at all. And because I didn’t fully commit when I had the chance, today it’s not at all.
Maybe one day, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t heartbroken over this. To be surrounded by opportunities and just not have a champion in my corner for how long and hard I’ve worked is really frustrating. But I have also learned that when I bang my head against the wall like this, it’s time to turn around and go another direction.
I quit ASCA this year because I couldn’t take what was happening without trying to fix it (both just the attitude it was projecting and the business it was conducting), and I’m the kind of person who, if involved at all, expects to be REALLY involved. I signed off of all the dog lists (except the ones I help manage) earlier this month because I just felt like the environment wasn’t what I needed right now, and it was clear I didn’t have much use to anyone on there, anyway. I haven’t missed any of it (well, I do miss ASCA, but not enough to come back).
Perhaps this will be the same. Or, perhaps the opportunity will show itself when it’s supposed to. There is something beautiful about the time it takes to train an animal. I love working with horses that are tougher for the same reason, as well . . . maybe it’s time to go back to horses after 20 years in dogs. Or find something else to invest my heart in.
At least for now.
<3
Hello Kirsten.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog by chance.
I am an old friend of Kathy Warren's. Twenty years ago I spent about two years on and off apprenticing with her and working on her ranch.
If you speak with Kathy, tell her Jared Lewis says hello.
I have been reading through your blog. I can very much relate to many of your experiences, especially when I was starting out.
I have been working dogs since I was 15, spent some time trailing and eventually started a grazing company which allowed me to work dogs on a daily basis.
I was interested in your sheep project and saddened to hear that you were having difficulties launching it. I think the idea of offering the 'farm' expetience to people with 'disabilities' is a wonderful idea.
I think stick dogs in particular would be a great addition to the lives of persons with limited mobility.
I would love to discuss your project more in depth as I would live to get involved in something like the project you described. Please feel free to email me at jaredalewis@gmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you.
That should say ' farm experience'.
ReplyDeleteNo edit function.
Jared